Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Curse You, DiGiorno's Microwaveable Rising Crust Pizza

... you have burned my tongue and failed to quench my hunger. And although your crust DID rise, you failed to meet my exceedingly high expectations. But don't come whining to me -- you brought this on yourself. You're the one who advertised yourself as that sexy pie indistinguishable from freshly baked delivery pizza. But your crust was puffy and tasteless and the middle stayed a melted blob of doughy goo.

So a pox upon thee, DiGiorno's Microwaveable Rising Crust Pizza. May you fester in the bowels of culinary hell.

And curse you, Mollie Stone's, for tempting me to buy a 99c canteloupe, only to have it blossom in a glorious explosion of fungus in just FOUR DAYS.


At 11:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, you did it to yourself. Microwavable pizza is a no no. DiDiornos (ignoring their new slightly smaller pizza -1.5in) is my favorite pizza.

However I cook mine in the oven. Try getting the non microwave kind if pizza is still on your mind and use the oven. Let it sit when done for a few minutes, then eat up. :)


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